Yes, talking to yourself is normal. Almost every child talks out loud to themselves while they play and learn, most adults keep a running voice in their heads, and plenty of adults still say things out loud when a task is hard or they're stressed. A few studies suggest it can even help, especially when you talk to yourself by name.
The rare thing worth taking to a doctor is different: hearing voices that don't feel like your own thoughts. More on that below.
Why you talk to yourself
Self-talk starts early. Young children narrate what they're doing ("now the red one goes here") without anyone else in the room. Psychologists call this private speech.
In a 2015 review of the research on inner speech, Ben Alderson-Day and Charles Fernyhough describe private speech as close to universal in childhood. It tends to appear around ages two to three and peak around five. Following the psychologist Lev Vygotsky, they describe how it gradually goes quiet: out-loud talk becomes muttering, then whispering, then the voice in your head.
But it doesn't vanish. The same review notes that out-loud self-talk can carry on into adulthood as a way to steer yourself and keep yourself going. That fits what most of us do: "Okay. Keys, wallet, phone." "Don't forget the second form." "Come on, you've got this."
So if you've ever been caught muttering in the kitchen, you're doing an adult version of something every person did as a kid.
Does talking out loud actually help?
Sometimes, for some tasks. The best-known study here is small and specific, so here it is with its limits.
In Lupyan and Swingley (2012), people searched for everyday objects among lots of other pictures, a bit like hunting for your keys on a cluttered table. On some trials they said the name of the object out loud as they searched. Saying the name helped them find it, especially when the word matched the object well. When the word and the picture matched poorly, saying it out loud started to hurt instead.
That's a narrow lab finding about visual search, not proof that talking to yourself makes you smarter. But it's a nice example of the idea that hearing a word, even in your own voice, can briefly change what you pay attention to.
There's related work on explaining things to yourself out loud while you learn, which I wrote about in the science of thinking out loud.
Talking to yourself in the third person
This is where the research gets most interesting.
In a set of seven studies with 585 people in total, Ethan Kross and colleagues (2014) asked people to reflect on a stressful situation using either "I" or their own name and "you". For example, "Why am I nervous?" versus "Why is Maya nervous?"
Using your name or "you" increased what the researchers call self-distancing: looking at your situation a bit more like an outsider would. In the studies where people had to make a first impression or give a speech, those who prepared that way were rated as performing better by observers and reported less distress. After the speech, they also dwelled on it less.
A 2017 follow-up by Moser and colleagues looked at brain activity. People reflected on upsetting images or memories in the first or third person while their brain activity was recorded (EEG in one study, fMRI in the other). Third-person self-talk went with lower emotional reactivity, without signs of the extra mental effort that other ways of calming down usually take. The authors suggest it may be a fairly effortless form of self-control.
These are lab studies, mostly with students, over short time spans. Still, it's a cheap thing to try: next time you're wound up, ask yourself the question using your own name.
Kinds of self-talk at a glance
| What it sounds like | What it's usually doing | What the research says |
|---|---|---|
| A running voice in your head | Planning, remembering, commenting | Very common; how often varies a lot between people |
| Muttering instructions ("keys, wallet, phone") | Keeping your place in a task | Saying a target's name helped visual search in one lab study, when the word fit |
| Pep talk using "you" or your name | Calming down, getting going | Linked to less distress and better performance under stress in several lab studies |
| Replaying an argument out loud | Rehearsing, or going round in circles | Rehearsal can help; endless replay usually doesn't (see below) |
When it's worth mentioning to a doctor
I'm not a doctor, and this isn't medical advice. But here's the general line, as public health guidance draws it.
Talking to yourself, out loud or silently, in your own voice, with thoughts you recognize as yours, is ordinary. What's different is hearing voices that seem to come from outside you, or that don't feel like your own thoughts. The NHS page on hallucinations and hearing voices says these aren't always a sign of mental illness (lack of sleep, fever, some medicines and other physical causes can play a part), and it advises asking for an urgent GP appointment or contacting NHS 111 if you or someone else is having them. It says to call 999 or go to A&E if the voices are telling someone to harm themselves or others, or if someone becomes suddenly confused. Outside the UK, your own doctor or local emergency number is the equivalent.
It's also worth talking to someone if your self-talk is mostly harsh, or if you're going over the same worry for hours and it's getting in the way of sleep or work. That's not "talking to yourself is abnormal". It's just a sign that what's on your mind deserves more help than a pep talk.
Try it out loud: a three-minute self-talk reset
Use this when you're stuck or wound up about something specific. Say it out loud, somewhere you won't be overheard.
- Say what you're trying to do, in one sentence. "I'm trying to finish the reference letter for Sam."
- Say what's in the way. "I don't know how to start, and I'm worried it won't be good enough."
- Now ask yourself by name. "Maya, what's the first sentence you'd write if this didn't have to be good?" Then answer it.
- Say the next step. One thing, small enough to start in the next ten minutes.
- Stop. Don't do a second lap. If the worry comes back, repeat the next step, not the worry.
If you record it, you can listen back once and keep the next step. I make Nuro, so weigh this accordingly: when you talk into it, Nuro transcribes and keeps your words, and pulls out possible to-dos (like "write the first paragraph of Sam's letter") for you to confirm.
If the thing you keep rehearsing is a conversation with another person, there's a fuller version of this in how to prepare for a difficult conversation.
FAQ
Is talking to yourself a sign of intelligence?
There's no good evidence for that. What the research does suggest is that talking to yourself can help with some tasks, like keeping your place or calming down, which is useful whatever your IQ.
Is it normal to have full conversations with yourself out loud?
Yes, many people do, especially when rehearsing what they'll say to someone. It becomes worth looking at only if the "other side" feels like a voice that isn't yours, or if the conversations are distressing and hard to stop.
Why do I talk to myself more when I'm stressed?
Self-talk is one of the ways people steer themselves, and stress is when you most need steering. Using your name or "you" instead of "I" seems to give a little distance from the feeling, according to the Kross studies above.
Is talking to yourself in the third person weird?
It can feel odd at first, but it's one of the better-studied forms of self-talk. You can do it silently, in your head, and get the same distancing.
Related reading: The science of thinking out loud · Name it to tame it · How to prepare for a difficult conversation · What a voice journal app is for
